Forums > General Discussion   Shooting the breeze...

Any lawyers out there!

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Created by elbeau > 9 months ago, 17 Jan 2020
elbeau
WA, 986 posts
17 Jan 2020 2:23AM
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My sons partner has left him and is moving out today with the kids. He has the house in his name and is paying for it but I believe she has a right to half. They have been together about 4 years. He works in mining and is away a lot. This is her basis for leaving. Can she force him to sell the house? If he hangs on to the house for another ten years then sells. is she still entitled to half? He is doing the right thing by her and the kids and I don't want to see him taken advantage of. We will get some professional advice but it would be helpful to get feedback from those in a similar situation.

stamp
QLD, 2757 posts
17 Jan 2020 6:25AM
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worst thing you can do is throw it open to stories from others. no two relationships are the same. this will only be misleading and inaccurate.

go and see an accredited family law specialist who is settlement focused.

(and yes, i'm a lawyer)

Razzonater
2224 posts
17 Jan 2020 5:43AM
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She will get a minimum of half of the house, depending on how many kids they have it may be more than half.
two or three kids she is entitled to maybe 70%

now depending on how much loan is against the house say it's a 500k house with a 250 loan on it he sells it she will likely get 150 and your son may get what's left after paying the taxes etc etc

Further depending on how many children he will also pay child support as a percentile of his wage 1 kid maybe 20-25 percent 2 kids 30

even if they are not married they lived together for more than 12 months (might be two year bit either way)

None of the above includes lawyers or time to process

Seperation with children involved is tricky I strongly suggest he goes and sees a lawyer and pays a few hundred bucks to get well versed in what the mother is entitled too.

Child support in this country is until 18 so I'm going to be frank here once the house is gone and resolved there will be that amount of time left to pay child support which is financially crippling.

I would suggest that a change in careers will be more financially viable and at least if working local will be easier to see the kids.

I did 12 year on the mines and I seen some ****... too say this is a common story is an understatement.

Also don't care how driven you are and financial you'd like to be post divorce, if your swing home isn't your weekend with the kids guess what you don't see them , back to site for two weeks

psychojoe
WA, 1799 posts
17 Jan 2020 12:30PM
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If they remain married, she'd still be entitled to half.
When I ditched my first wife, I sold everything and travelled the world, made sure there was nothing left to take half of.
Not sure the equity in the house, but with kids involved I'd be seriously considering just giving her everything, and starting again.
The lawyers get nix, the kids get stability, and Everyone knows that you're the good parent

saltiest1
NSW, 2475 posts
17 Jan 2020 5:06PM
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Go have a chat to Australian Brotherhood of Fathers.
They have some good free legal advice and especially in regards to child support and AVO stuff (hopefully not needed).
Child support are c&@#s. Best to be prepared for that one.

bazz61
QLD, 3570 posts
18 Jan 2020 3:30PM
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My 2 cents ... get professional advice on asset split , avoid lawyers and deal direct with partner, that's the easy part , career change next it's no use working in the mines when after tax & child support you have may have 20 cents in the dollar for your self, also mental health Will suffer , consider going to uni etc ... retrain , and work on personal fitness is a must , the bonus is more time with kids instead of being in a donger getting depressed .
See this all the time in construction , just remember you come out the other side a lot stronger , there is a group called mates in construction which anybody can contact for advice support .
Good luck .

elbeau
WA, 986 posts
20 Jan 2020 7:08PM
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Thank you all for your input. Nice blokes come last. He is being screwed royally and it breaks my heart but que sera sera. He is doing the right thing and I always try and comfort myself that justice takes time. Hitler was a millionaire and was admired by multitudes. Jesus was despised and was murdered.

Tequila !
WA, 799 posts
20 Jan 2020 8:42PM
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Way too common in our gig (mining)
Way too common in Australia.
More than common w the younger generations.
Give her the house, walk away, go full bottle on the mines, spent time overseas and dont ever marry again.
If the kids are bonded to him can be tough.

THE PIN PULLER
WA, 465 posts
20 Jan 2020 8:56PM
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Select to expand quote
psychojoe said..
If they remain married, she'd still be entitled to half.
When I ditched my first wife, I sold everything and travelled the world, made sure there was nothing left to take half of.
Not sure the equity in the house, but with kids involved I'd be seriously considering just giving her everything, and starting again.
The lawyers get nix, the kids get stability, and Everyone knows that you're the good parent


Who would get married twice ??

RichardG
WA, 3743 posts
20 Jan 2020 9:22PM
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Get him to go and see Ian Sampson at www.roundhouse.legal Good luck to your son and get him to get proper representation and advice, he will need it.

mazdon
1196 posts
20 Jan 2020 10:40PM
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Just another perspective, but I had a mate who moved himself out and left wife and kids in house, changed jobs to be around town more but less $ etc. similar to some suggestions above.

1 year later and they had rebuilt relationship and he moved back in.

maybe rare case, but depends what your son wants end of day as well.

cauncy
WA, 8407 posts
22 Jan 2020 3:03PM
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Sit her down
Tell her that the lawyers on both sides love this shift, they know how much assets
We both have, they'll keep going back n forth extracting a large percentage of our assets, when they're happy and made enough coin they'll advise to settle,
You'll be better off splitting 50/50, inc children access n care,

Krusty
NSW, 441 posts
22 Jan 2020 6:25PM
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Select to expand quote
cauncy said..
Sit her down
Tell her that the lawyers on both sides love this shift, they know how much assets
We both have, they'll keep going back n forth extracting a large percentage of our assets, when they're happy and made enough coin they'll advise to settle,
You'll be better off splitting 50/50, inc children access n care,


True, but more likely a 60/40 split will be agreeable to her. Easy to pay a premium then fighting it out.

eppo
WA, 9372 posts
22 Jan 2020 5:22PM
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Select to expand quote
THE PIN PULLER said..






psychojoe said..
If they remain married, she'd still be entitled to half.
When I ditched my first wife, I sold everything and travelled the world, made sure there was nothing left to take half of.
Not sure the equity in the house, but with kids involved I'd be seriously considering just giving her everything, and starting again.
The lawyers get nix, the kids get stability, and Everyone knows that you're the good parent








Who would get married twice ??







So true. But crew do get married again. Got me farqed why.

Even if amicable I'd employ a good lawyer to ensure she doesn't suddenly decide to farq him over. Don't trust them, not one. Emotional basket cases that can be the source of cruelness; heard some shocking stories that have destroyed good honest men.

Make sure the focus is on the kids welfare and be clinical about it all. Get a suitable agreement and have it verified in law. Move on and learn.

hoop
1979 posts
22 Jan 2020 5:50PM
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Select to expand quote
cauncy said..
Sit her down
Tell her that the lawyers on both sides love this shift, they know how much assets
We both have, they'll keep going back n forth extracting a large percentage of our assets, when they're happy and made enough coin they'll advise to settle,
You'll be better off splitting 50/50, inc children access n care,


Which perfect world are you living in Cauncy ? I would like to go there

FormulaNova
WA, 14042 posts
22 Jan 2020 6:07PM
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Select to expand quote
hoop said..

cauncy said..
Sit her down
Tell her that the lawyers on both sides love this shift, they know how much assets
We both have, they'll keep going back n forth extracting a large percentage of our assets, when they're happy and made enough coin they'll advise to settle,
You'll be better off splitting 50/50, inc children access n care,



Which perfect world are you living in Cauncy ? I would like to go there


Yes, I agree. The wife would no doubt go back to the lawyer and tell them what the husband wanted to do to save them money, and then the lawyer would 'highlight' that this would be unfair to her and that she deserved more than whatever was promised, and that he would get it for her.

A few months later, the truth may be that she got more, or it may not, but the lawyer would have got more. Its their business.

Although, to be fair, a lawyer I know gave similar advice to a guy getting divorced, with the exception of cutting out the lawyers, of offering a more than fair settlement as he knew that it would still be cheaper than letting them argue it out and burning up lawyer hours. IT was good advice I think.

I think the same goes for real estate agents. Of course they will get you more! Its only when you settle for less that you realise how it works.

stamp
QLD, 2757 posts
22 Jan 2020 8:35PM
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....i did flag this, elbeau

Chris 249
NSW, 3215 posts
23 Jan 2020 8:45AM
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Select to expand quote
eppo said..







THE PIN PULLER said..













psychojoe said..

with kids involved I'd be seriously considering just giving her everything, and starting again.
The lawyers get nix, the kids get stability, and Everyone knows that you're the good parent















Who would get married twice ??














So true. But crew do get married again. Got me farqed why.

Even if amicable I'd employ a good lawyer to ensure she doesn't suddenly decide to farq him over. Don't trust them, not one. Emotional basket cases that can be the source of cruelness; heard some shocking stories that have destroyed good honest men.

Make sure the focus is on the kids welfare and be clinical about it all. Get a suitable agreement and have it verified in law. Move on and learn.








Why get married twice? Because if you don't just blame the other side for the breakdown of your first marriage, you can have a great second one. That's why.

If you have kids, you will see your ex regularly for many years. You can either fight it out over money and spend the rest of your life having to deal with a situation where you both are bitter, or you take the longer view and end up having a reasonable relationship with your ex - and as Joe said, that is worth a lot of money over the long run. How much would you pay to avoid having custody battles and fights every week for the rest of your life? How much is it worth to avoid the strangling feeling of tension every day until the kids get older?

As far as the lawyers go, I've been told by more than one that many people say "I'd rather the money go to lawyers than to that bitch/bastard". And as far as the horror stories go about divorce, there's two sides to each story and we very rarely get to hear the other side. Let's face it, if you married a "biatch" or "bastard", then you made a big mistake - and therefore you have proof that you aren't perfect yourself and that you make big mistakes. If you made a big mistake loving them, it's logical that you may also be making a big mistake hating them.

cauncy
WA, 8407 posts
23 Jan 2020 8:37AM
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Select to expand quote
hoop said..

cauncy said..
Sit her down
Tell her that the lawyers on both sides love this shift, they know how much assets
We both have, they'll keep going back n forth extracting a large percentage of our assets, when they're happy and made enough coin they'll advise to settle,
You'll be better off splitting 50/50, inc children access n care,



Which perfect world are you living in Cauncy ? I would like to go there


Either party that wants more than that, then it's a good sign your better without them,

Chris 249
NSW, 3215 posts
23 Jan 2020 2:57PM
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Select to expand quote


Don't trust them, not one. Emotional basket cases that can be the source of cruelness; heard some shocking stories that have destroyed good honest men.




Are you referring to ALL women when you say don't trust one of them?

saltiest1
NSW, 2475 posts
23 Jan 2020 3:45PM
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Select to expand quote
Chris 249 said..



Don't trust them, not one. Emotional basket cases that can be the source of cruelness; heard some shocking stories that have destroyed good honest men.





Are you referring to ALL women when you say don't trust one of them?



I would.
Can you be 100% certain another person wouldn't go down the nasty route? If that's the case then you couldn't trust any either.
Goes both ways too.

Chris 249
NSW, 3215 posts
23 Jan 2020 3:52PM
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Select to expand quote
saltiest1 said..

Chris 249 said..




Don't trust them, not one. Emotional basket cases that can be the source of cruelness; heard some shocking stories that have destroyed good honest men.






Are you referring to ALL women when you say don't trust one of them?




I would.
Can you be 100% certain another person wouldn't go down the nasty route? If that's the case then you couldn't trust any either.
Goes both ways too.


If someone says it goes each way, that's one thing. If someone says that they would not trust ANY woman but would trust men, that person is a vile sexist psycho dirtbag lunatic.

saltiest1
NSW, 2475 posts
23 Jan 2020 4:03PM
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Select to expand quote
Chris 249 said..

saltiest1 said..


Chris 249 said..





Don't trust them, not one. Emotional basket cases that can be the source of cruelness; heard some shocking stories that have destroyed good honest men.







Are you referring to ALL women when you say don't trust one of them?





I would.
Can you be 100% certain another person wouldn't go down the nasty route? If that's the case then you couldn't trust any either.
Goes both ways too.



If someone says it goes each way, that's one thing. If someone says that they would not trust ANY woman but would trust men, that person is a vile sexist psycho dirtbag lunatic.


I take it that was the concise version haha.

I'll never trust a woman again after the situation I was put into and any future relationship will have a financial contingency plan in place.

cauncy
WA, 8407 posts
23 Jan 2020 9:28PM
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Select to expand quote
saltiest1 said..

Chris 249 said..


saltiest1 said..



Chris 249 said..






Don't trust them, not one. Emotional basket cases that can be the source of cruelness; heard some shocking stories that have destroyed good honest men.








Are you referring to ALL women when you say don't trust one of them?






I would.
Can you be 100% certain another person wouldn't go down the nasty route? If that's the case then you couldn't trust any either.
Goes both ways too.




If someone says it goes each way, that's one thing. If someone says that they would not trust ANY woman but would trust men, that person is a vile sexist psycho dirtbag lunatic.



I take it that was the concise version haha.

I'll never trust a woman again after the situation I was put into and any future relationship will have a financial contingency plan in place.


Go gay

Crusoe
QLD, 1192 posts
24 Jan 2020 5:54AM
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Select to expand quote
elbeau said..
My sons partner has left him and is moving out today with the kids. He has the house in his name and is paying for it but I believe she has a right to half. They have been together about 4 years. He works in mining and is away a lot. This is her basis for leaving. Can she force him to sell the house? If he hangs on to the house for another ten years then sells. is she still entitled to half? He is doing the right thing by her and the kids and I don't want to see him taken advantage of. We will get some professional advice but it would be helpful to get feedback from those in a similar situation.


You could use a service like this. They have set fees, tell you what the legal requirements are. Can organise mediation. Recommend a divorce lawyer if the situation can't be resolved any other way..
www.act4tomorrow.com.au

saltiest1
NSW, 2475 posts
24 Jan 2020 7:36AM
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Select to expand quote
cauncy said..

saltiest1 said..


Chris 249 said..



saltiest1 said..




Chris 249 said..







Don't trust them, not one. Emotional basket cases that can be the source of cruelness; heard some shocking stories that have destroyed good honest men.









Are you referring to ALL women when you say don't trust one of them?







I would.
Can you be 100% certain another person wouldn't go down the nasty route? If that's the case then you couldn't trust any either.
Goes both ways too.





If someone says it goes each way, that's one thing. If someone says that they would not trust ANY woman but would trust men, that person is a vile sexist psycho dirtbag lunatic.




I take it that was the concise version haha.

I'll never trust a woman again after the situation I was put into and any future relationship will have a financial contingency plan in place.



Go gay


Not that there's anything wrong with that.

eppo
WA, 9372 posts
25 Jan 2020 5:30PM
Thumbs Up

Select to expand quote
Chris 249 said..


saltiest1 said..



Chris 249 said..






Don't trust them, not one. Emotional basket cases that can be the source of cruelness; heard some shocking stories that have destroyed good honest men.








Are you referring to ALL women when you say don't trust one of them?






I would.
Can you be 100% certain another person wouldn't go down the nasty route? If that's the case then you couldn't trust any either.
Goes both ways too.




If someone says it goes each way, that's one thing. If someone says that they would not trust ANY woman but would trust men, that person is a vile sexist psycho dirtbag lunatic.



Pretty sure I didn't say I would only trust men. You added that bit then your dirtbag lunatic bit. Nice closed logic loop there.


then again yeh I fall a little on the vile sexist physco dirtbag lunatic spectrum for sure. Anyone whose lived long enough with the opposite sex would find it hard not to. Each to their own. I wouldn't get married again and if I lived with another person I'd have some financial arrangement in place for sure.

in my perfect world I'd visit them for some fun on the weekends only ...then she wouldn't have to put up with me as well all week

Toph
WA, 1797 posts
26 Jan 2020 7:29AM
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Select to expand quote
eppo said..
in my perfect world I'd visit them for some fun on the weekends only ...then she wouldn't have to put up with me as well all week


That's essentially what my dad did, then he retired from the Navy. My mother than changed career to a teacher and worked away and only came home on weekends. Happily married for 40 years. Now that they are both retired they are arguing like mongrels. I think there could be something in you "ideal world".

nicephotog
NSW, 251 posts
28 Jan 2020 10:02PM
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Select to expand quote
elbeau said..
My sons partner has left him and is moving out today with the kids. He has the house in his name and is paying for it but I believe she has a right to half. They have been together about 4 years. He works in mining and is away a lot. This is her basis for leaving. Can she force him to sell the house? If he hangs on to the house for another ten years then sells. is she still entitled to half? He is doing the right thing by her and the kids and I don't want to see him taken advantage of. We will get some professional advice but it would be helpful to get feedback from those in a similar situation.


Sounds like a job for king Solomon.

Chris 249
NSW, 3215 posts
29 Jan 2020 9:35AM
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Select to expand quote
eppo said..


Chris 249 said..




saltiest1 said..





Chris 249 said..








Don't trust them, not one. Emotional basket cases that can be the source of cruelness; heard some shocking stories that have destroyed good honest men.










Are you referring to ALL women when you say don't trust one of them?








I would.
Can you be 100% certain another person wouldn't go down the nasty route? If that's the case then you couldn't trust any either.
Goes both ways too.






If someone says it goes each way, that's one thing. If someone says that they would not trust ANY woman but would trust men, that person is a vile sexist psycho dirtbag lunatic.





Pretty sure I didn't say I would only trust men. You added that bit then your dirtbag lunatic bit. Nice closed logic loop there.


then again yeh I fall a little on the vile sexist physco dirtbag lunatic spectrum for sure. Anyone whose lived long enough with the opposite sex would find it hard not to. Each to their own. I wouldn't get married again and if I lived with another person I'd have some financial arrangement in place for sure.

in my perfect world I'd visit them for some fun on the weekends only ...then she wouldn't have to put up with me as well all week



I made it clear that I did NOT say you would only trust men. Read the post again - I wrote quite clearly that IF someone said they trusted men but NO women then they would be a sexist slimeball, which is perfectly logical.

There are plenty of people who live for years with the opposite sex without becoming sexist psycho lunatics, by the way.



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Forums > General Discussion   Shooting the breeze...


"Any lawyers out there!" started by elbeau